Everyone tinkers to get a big favor (end-of-year bonus) or a small service (take their Wednesday afternoon to take care of the children). You too ? To get your message across, convince and get everything you want, you will find below 12 super effective tips!

1 / Respect social rituals

Let’s start at the beginning if you don’t mind … The sentences like “how are you?” ” , ” you’re okay ? Have a huge impact. An American psychologist Howard has shown that our little ritual phrases to which we respond just as mechanically are far from harmless. Indeed, they have a power of influence.

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Why ? Because they simply engage. Someone who replies that he feels good feels compelled to be in good shape, to be enthusiastic, and is more willing to accept a request. Ask a person how they feel (and continue with “ah I’m happy to learn it” if the person responds positively or “oh I’m sorry to learn it” if it is negative) before proposing something multiplies the chances of having a positive feedback (25% versus 10%).

2 / Create a private space

You should not present your product or service anywhere and how. Make sure you are calm, in a clean place, and install your interlocutor comfortably: welcoming chair or sofa, rather than a chair that hurts the buttocks, at the right temperature (you have never noticed that the shops clothes were always super well air conditioned in winter and summer to make the customer more flexible and stay as long as possible).

You have to be friendly, smiling and warm. Besides, we are more receptive in a lunch atmosphere, after a cup of tea or a flash of a few small macaroons ??. Even better, offer him something to establish a link (ancestral law of hospitality which induces reciprocity). Before, it was the ritual of smoking, today a Tic Tac does the job very well 🙂

3 / Direct requests

Let’s be clear, you don’t want anything, demand nothing, you have nothing to sell. The first thing to do when you want to get something, is to bias and do it in a subtle way (by the way, I am writing an article on the subject that I invite you to read here). Two psychologists from the University of Brittany-South, Guéguen and Fisher-Lokou, asked more than 3,600 people on the street to give them some money: 43% gave when the request was indirect (we asked them first time) against 28% direct demand. Even better, they gave on average more (0.37 versus 0.28%).

4 / Copy your contact

The more you look like him, the better. Imitates his gestures, his intonations, his tics of language, his attitudes, his way of dressing. All the work in social psychology shows that we prefer and help more those who seem familiar to us. For example, if you drop something on the street, it’s more likely that someone will help you pick it up if they have the same social class as you, dressed like you, etc. More surprisingly, you can get three times more favorable responses from someone with the same first name as you.

5 / repeat everything he says

No, this is not a joke! But the method is extremely effective, which is what psychologists call the “chameleon effect”. It is a matter of systematically repeating what your interlocutor says by using his own words, his own feelings. For example: “as you just said … actually if I understood you correctly … etc. “.

A social psychology team from Radbout University Nijmegen (Holland) has revealed that we are more generous with people who imitate us. For example, I have a restaurant friend who said to his team the following instruction: repeat the customer’s request systematically “Why? Because he noticed that customers more often tipped when the waiters who took the order systematically repeated what the customer asked instead of just saying “it is noted”.

6 / Tell your interlocutor that he is completely free

Clearly, this is the best way to get someone to do what you want them to do. Numerous experiences have shown that just saying the word “freedom” positively influences behavior. When you ask someone something and say “you are free to …” or “you do as you want”, the success rate is multiplied by three.

7 / Make your interlocutor someone important

You have to flatter their ego (subtly), because it’s the best way to arouse someone’s interest and to ensure their good cooperation This is what is done on TV by asking the stars for their opinions on problems they have no idea about to strengthen their self-prestige. For example, Cyril Hanouna who talks about the future of wild tuna or Patrick Bruel who talks about budget debt.

8 / Look straight in the eyes

Numerous studies have shown that people who look at us are more favorably valued, and more particularly those who look at them for the long term.

Why ? Because looking the other in the eye is an invitation to get closer, it allows you to increase the receptivity of your interlocutor and above all to capture his attention. Basically, it’s a way of saying, “I’m interested, I have a message for you or a request to make.” This is also the case for people who have intimate ties with each other, they are happy to look each other in the eye.

Clearly, staring at the person right before making a request increases the chances of getting what you want.

But beware, looking the other person in the eye can also make them uncomfortable if you delay making their request. He may feel embarrassed and therefore generate an uncomfortable tension. So it’s best to make the request as soon as you look at the person.

A little note: when you want the exchange to end, just stop looking your interlocutor in the eyes, or even avoid his eyes. It will be a sign that you will consider the interview as finished and that you wish to move on. To put it simply, this indirect way of proceeding allows for a smooth transition.

9 / touch

CAUTION: there is touch and touch, huh? But basically, a light touch on the forearm, the shoulder of your partner increases your chances of success. Touch makes people respond more favorably (76%) than lack of contact (47%). Even better, when combined with the look, it goes up to 91%!

This has been shown by several studies carried out in England or the United States. For example, customers affected by a vendor… r in a store stay there longer (22 minutes versus 13). Even better, they buy more.

You have never noticed that you find the waiter or waitress who sympathizes with you on the back for example or hits you on the shoulder, and you automatically leave a bigger tip (17% against 14%)

10 / You have to repeat

The more you repeat a message, the more likely it is to print on the other person. All the studies carried out for several years in advertising in the United States as in Europe have shown that it takes at least 10 messages per day to influence the behavior of a consumer. In addition, this message has even more impact when associated with a recurring visual element.

11 / Apply the “low-ball” technique, in other words, priming

– “Do you have 5 minutes on Saturday to help me carry a few things?” ”

– “No worries with pleasure!” ”

– ” Great ! I have to move the whole cellar and take it all to the country to my parents, you don’t mind coming with your vehicle, the trunk is bigger? ”

– “Uh no”?

What do you notice through this little dialogue 🙂?

I will help you. Clearly to get a lot, you have to ask for little first. This is the famous priming technique. It is based on the fact that it is very difficult to say NO after you have said YES, even if you realize that you have been tricked. This is shown by Robert B. Cialdini, a famous social psychologist.

With the lowball technique (priming), 56% of people agree to do something and 53% actually do it; without it, only 31% acceptance and 24% achievement.

12 / Address your right brain…

Before I explain why, a little biology lesson is essential?

In humans, the two cerebral hemispheres each have their role. The left hemisphere thinks and acts logically. With lu, i search for causes and explanations for everything and on each point: it is the “pessimistic” brain.

In contrast, the right hemisphere is about image thinking, understanding and non-verbal expression. It’s what allows us to recognize faces, to dream or to hear music, for example. Various studies have shown that it is the optimistic brain.

Why ?

Because lesions in the left hemisphere cause reactions of intense anxiety, fits of tears, depression. On the other hand, lesions in the right hemisphere result in fits of laughter, euphoria.

Another example: cartoons have more effect when they are projected in the left visual field (right hemisphere). Conversely, horror films are most effective when they are projected in the right visual field (left hemisphere).

So to influence, you have to address your right brain:

  • Express yourself with conviction and warmth;
  • Illustrate what you are saying and use pictorial language, concrete rather than abstract words (for example “I feel… I see” rather than “I think or I believe”. All studies on cognition show that information has more impact and is better remembered when associated with a visual element;
  • Say “we” instead of “you and me”
  • Do not object, because that would recalculate your interlocutor on his left brain;
  • When you feel a reluctance, “marry her! “, Play your own devil’s advocate (example:” Of course, you could reproach me that … “,” I agree with you and I understand your position, besides I put in your place: why I would buy … While… but precisely let me give you a little confidence ”;
  • Practice brutal breaks, basically by suddenly changing your attitude, your behavior (for example, you stop talking in the middle of a sentence and you scan something like a pen or a plant. Better yet, you get up to go examine the object in question, while defending your point of view). Result: it will create a surprise effect which will help to disconnect it from its logical functions.

If what I shared with you today helped you see more clearly, please share this article so that selling becomes second nature 🙂

Thank you !